You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
