Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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