yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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