guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
