I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
