He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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