white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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