I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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