I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
