guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
