I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
