Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
