Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
