Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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