gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
