This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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