She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
