hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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