K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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