u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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