can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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