That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
