Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
