the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is my gift to your gina
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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