does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
