Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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