"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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