I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
