singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
