Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
