office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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