Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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