im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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