nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
