i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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