she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
