My first STD was from a foam party
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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