I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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