I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
honey bunches of taint.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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