I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
