On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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