I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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