He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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