she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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