cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
