Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
