i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
