I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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