STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
