Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just found puke in my bra..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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