3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
